What Happens when the Chemical Honeymoon comes to an End?
After the honeymoon period, the brain stops producing as much of these chemicals and a tolerance to them builds. This is when most relationships begin to see intensification of conflicts. Because many people do not have the communication skills they need to work through these challenges that provide growth opportunities, they will seek out the chemical high through an affair or terminating their relationship and looking for it in someone else.
However, these same people will often find that they have similar issues that challenge them in their next relationship after the next honeymoon period comes to a chemical end. Thus, being aware of this allows us to understand that it is normal and that it is a sign we are moving into the stage of a relationship that may allow us the most emotional growth. This knowledge may also encourage couples to stick it out as there are not only emotional benefits but different chemical bonuses that occur after the intensity dies down.
Another important aspect is emotional intelligence, which is an important part of our evolution. To ignore the opportunity to evolve by working through our emotional challenges is neglecting the advancement of our emotional intelligence and keeps us immature.
This applies to monogamous and open relationships and is not contingent upon one being married. Regardless of one's style of commitment to someone. It is after the honeymoon period where we can learn the most about our partner(s), ourselves and experience a deeper more profound love than ever before.
However, it requires effort and in this fast paced, impatient society that we live in, avoidance of this is common. It is why we see such a large divorce rate and the desire to numb ourselves with unhealthy coping skills to avoid the emotional work that it requires.
The Chemical Bonus to Long Term Relationships
When infatuation subsides, a new group of chemicals takes over. This new type of chemical reward is created by endorphins. These morphine-like opiates calm and reassure with intimacy, dependability, warmth, and shared experiences. In combination with other chemical reactions associated with love in the body, people through a variety of studies have shown increased productivity of the immune system, and better health and a longer life. It is why some studies show that happily married people have better health and live longer.
While long term love chemicals are not as exciting or as stressful as PEA, they are steadier and more addictive. The longer two people have been together, the more likely it is that they'll stay together. In part, they become addicted to the endorphins and relationship serenity.
It is the absence of endorphins that make long-time partners yearn for each other when apart. Absent endorphins also play a part in grief from the death of a spouse. It is why in old age once a significant other dies the other often dies within a year of the other.
Getting through Infatuation Withdrawal
It seems that long term relationships are not only good for one's emotional health but also for your physical health. Again, these relationships don't have to be in a traditional marriage. Any romantic relationship whether in heterosexual, same sex relationships, open relationships as well as monogamous relationships can experience long term intimacy. It is more a matter of determining what type of relationship is right for you and finding a partner that has a similar vision. Then make the effort to communicate effectively with one another as well as invest effort into maintaining the relationship to go the distance.
That is one of the reasons why we at Holistic Wisdom look for ways to provide relationship and sexual education so that you and your partner(s) can be empowered to live life fully and passionately! So whether you have been with your partner for many years or even if you are single, you can embrace loving yourself and your sexuality for a healthier, longer life.
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